ESL One Frankfurt 2016 Predictions

Team OG's main crew, looking ready mess someone up.
Team OG's main crew, looking ready mess someone up. /

With the tournament season in full swing and The International fast approaching, ESL One could be a major predictor for team performance.

Could be? Back off italicized subheading. Don’t step on my word-turf. I don’t care what my editor tells me, I’ve got things to say and nothing is going to stop me. So, take a knee gang. We’re all friends here. Come one, come all, and peer into Madam Richards’ crystal ball.

The larger the crystal ball, the more accurate the prediction.
The larger the crystal ball, the more accurate the prediction. /

I’m not kidding you, I literally have one of these things. I use it as a paper weight for my desk. And you know what it’s telling me? That team OG is about to dole out some serious harshness to the opposition in Frankfurt, June 18th. You heard it. Boom. And that thing I said earlier about being friends? Yeah, if you’re cheering for another team, I was lying about that. Did you see OG’s intro video at the Manila Major? No? Well here it is:

With casual brutality, OG dispatched every challenger at Manila without a single loss until the finals. They outplayed, outperformed, and outmaneuvered every team they went up against. That’s right, I said it. And don’t go thinking I’m some fair-weathered fan hopping onto a winning streak.

Bandwagon: n., a wagon full of new fans, headed straight to hell.
Bandwagon: n., a wagon of new fans, headed straight to hell. /

I may be a girl, but I’ve been a fan since OG went by the name of (monkey) Business. Miracle is one of my all-time favorite DOTA players who, by the way, became the first player to reach 9k MMR in May.

No I didn’t stutter, and no you didn’t mishear me. 9k MMR. Respect.

Not that I think ESL One at Frankfurt will be a cakewalk for my longtime favorite, OG. As a matter of fact, I nearly got into an office brawl the other day with my (subordinate) co-worker, Phil. Come on Phil, we know you don’t really care about Team Liquid. You’re just sucking up to the boss man, who is a true blue Team Liquid lackey.

No dignity. Have some self-respect.
No dignity. Have some self-respect, for God’s sake. /


To those who think Liquid is the favored outcome in Frankfurt, I have have this to say: there’s going to be a repeat performance of the same kind of action we saw in Manila. And when the dust settles, you’ll see what I knew all along. OG is going to take this tournament season all the way to The International.

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